the an9e1a project

02.15.12

2012-02-15T17:32:00.001-05:00

5:32 p.m.

I thought I'd forgotten how to write. I was literally afraid to even try. Turns out, I just needed to release myself. For far too long I've sat in my homemade cage of approval addiction and worry, silently staring out at the world with a smile plastered on my face. And the thing is, the door fell away long ago. I am sick of experiencing winter on the inside of this place.

So... I'm happy to announce that "the an9e1a project" is under reconstruction. I'm thinking a poem a day for as long as I feel like it or something like that. Old poetry, new poetry, favorites written by others and whatnot. I'd find a poetry forum to post in but since I'm sick of the usual poetry experts, psychos, and psycho-analysts showing up every place I visit, I'll just post right here in my place.

Stay tuned,

02.15.12

2012-02-15T11:01:00.001-05:00

Resurfacing

How can it be that I lose my composure

so quickly?

That my ocean of defenses has folded,

laid itself to rest?

My list of reasons taken flight;

logic emancipated?

With all that I am, I push it away-

This nameless darkness

that whispers my secrets;

songs I almost remember

Again and again, I bury it, carefully

that no skin should brush it,

No air should stir it

Nor laughter rouse it

Only to find the dirt caked

beneath my fingernails,

White lines of tears

upon my cheeks, and

The memory of digging

and climbing;

of clawing my way in

and back out again,

carved into my eye.

12.17.11

2011-12-17T12:02:00.001-05:00

Have a little one?
Want info on an awesome giveaway?
CLICK RIGHT HERE.

See you later, Alligator!

04.11.11

2011-04-12T00:08:00.005-04:00

Some things bumping around in my brain tonight:

1. I've started dieting again. Because I fell off the wagon. And, oh boy, I'm afraid to tell you how much weight I gained whilst off of that wagon. The scales were the meanest person I encountered all day long.

2. Depression sucks the color out of life. I don't want to ramble on about the subject. I just want to douse the gray with gallons of red.

3. Facebook etiquette. Or lack thereof.

4. The really weird email I got yesterday that reads as follows:

(Subject- where have u been?)
doers followed their selfish pleasures and became transgressors. I am glad you will not wait for me with that lingering pity in your look. It may have its ridiculous side; But with no friendly voice, and add thy name, are the dispossessed son: I am the murdered father: your mother is the frightful taste of ink continued.

Um, what?

5. Sometimes I feel like I'm on the verge of remembering something, and maybe it's something really significant, and it's almost like it's on the tip of my tongue, but it's actually on the tip of my frontal cortex or something. So in this case, I can't really remember what's bumping around in my brain, but it's in there. Sort of like a shadow I guess.

And still there's lots more; thoughts of God, the past, worries and fears and hopes and desires. And questions, those that seem ever present, that I wish I knew how to say out loud, and even more, that I wish someone could answer.

Well, I guess that's all I have for tonight. My heavy head is leading me to the curious world of dreams. Goodnight all.

04.09.2011

2011-04-09T00:34:00.006-04:00

I'm just stopping by with a few photos tonight. Since they made me smile, I thought maybe you'd like 'em too. ♥

There's lots more I'd love to share from today's babysitting adventure, but at least I managed to get a few of my favorites uploaded!

See you soon,

♥ angela

03.26.2011

2011-03-26T03:03:00.016-04:00

Gasp, gasp! Can you believe it? I am actually gonna post something! ;) Maybe it's the caffeine or maybe it's my grasping at "me time" for as long as I possibly can until as late as I possibly can tonight, but whatever the reason, YAY. I've missed this silly little blog of mine.

I think I'll make this late night madness post a strange concoction of a little bit of everything. :)) And I think I'll start it with a random ramble, since a friend of mine has been inspiring me with her posts lately (who's awesome place can be found right HERE)!

I am now officially an aunt. yay! yAy! YaY! YAY!!!! Aunt Angie am I. :)
I'm addicted to Happy Aquarium. And Cityville.
I had to completely quit Farmville and block it from my facebook aps because I was so addicted to it that I was beginning to forget about things like laundry and housework and how to get up and walk around.
I am so sick of mud. Sick to death of it I say.
But then maybe I should be like SUZY, and pretend that I love it until I really do love it since that sometimes maybe might help a little.
I'm all set up on my laptop right now (in my recliner with my laptop and my wireless mouse and my pillow and my little white table board and my power cord) and it's really not that easy to get it all set up and be comfortable all at the same time, but I did it and now I hafta pee.
I'm gonna see how far I can get with this post before I absolutely have to get up and go, or face the consequences of not doing that.
I'll let you know.
I haven't smoked for 1 year, 10 weeks, 2 days, 23 hours, and 48 minutes.
I'm gonna go see "The Adjustment Bureau" tomorrow!
If dogs could cry real tears: http://www.break.com/index/guilty-dog-2025685
HeeheeeHooohaha: http://www.break.com/index/baby-scared-by-mothers-nose-2024194
random ramble VI is now officially coming to a close as I have run out of random thoughts to share and I am now entertaining thoughts of my pillow. (Yeah, I already gave in and went to the bathroom.)

But before I go, here are a few pictures...

Her name is Arafel Evangeline and she's my niece and isn't she just the prettiest thing you've ever seen? :)

Just one more thing before I go...

Love, love, love,

12.13.2010

2010-12-13T12:57:00.002-05:00

Isn't she a sweet little angel, Nanny? :D

*Photo taken by Miss Elizabeth of MunciePhotos.com. Check her out. She's amazing! :)

Love, love, love!

12.08.2010

2010-12-08T00:35:00.003-05:00

curious water;

transforming and recycling,

unsure of its shape.

Yep. I just couldn't stay away, lol.

2010-12-02T23:33:00.009-05:00

This is just a quick post to say hello, and also to give my mom all the credit. You see, she misses my posts, so this site is gonna be up and running solely for her, dedicated to her. :) I'm not gonna be a full time, professional blogger, but I will be posting photos and such and maybe even doing a Caturday or two.

So then, welcome to the an9e1a project 2.0. I think this just might be cause for a new look! yAy!!!

Stay tuned,
♥ angela

10.5.2010

2010-10-05T01:16:00.006-04:00

Happy {late} Caturday, everybody!

Wanna join in the fun? (↓)

My days have been going a little bit like this:

2010-10-03T19:02:00.003-04:00

Click-here-and-then-scribble-your-mouse-around-real-quick-like.

I'll be back tomorrow after a much needed sleeping binge,

Transforming socks...

2010-09-28T19:58:00.008-04:00

into fun!!

(I just know you'll be thinking about this the next time you're putting on yours!!)

I hope you're having an extraordinary Tuesday,

ps. The linky list will be open until next month's Transforming Tuesday, so you'll have plenty of time to link up if you want to join in! Just click the tab at the top of the page for the current Transforming Tuesday Challenge. :)

Transforming Tuesday #5

2010-09-28T15:13:00.002-04:00

"There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly."

~Richard Buckminster Fullerry

Transforming Tuesday is all about looking for the extraordinary that's hidden within our everyday, ordinary lives. It's about looking at the caterpillar and seeing a butterfly. This is the only Tuesday, September 28, 2010 you and I will ever experience. Will we choose to see beyond the hurry, beyond the mundane and ordinary, to experience the little miracles scattered all over the course of this day? Will you join me in transforming Tuesday into something extraordinary?

You can put it in a poem, transform a photo, capture it on video, or just share a thought or two. It can be big, it can be little... It can be something of your own or something that inspires you... It can be anything you want! Let's transform Tuesday into extraordinary together!!

I'll be back with mine in a little while,

Happy Caturday!

2010-09-25T17:30:00.007-04:00

Join in the fun at Whinyl loves Winkxie!

I'll be back later to do some blog visiting and some answering of emails, but right now it's time for supper! :)

xoxoxo!!

Look what Ashley helped me do! :)

2010-09-23T14:48:00.004-04:00

And you can do it too!!! (↓)

Live Out Loud!

2010-09-23T12:10:00.006-04:00

So, do you remember my official four day break and how I've been transforming and working on balancing the use of my time and all that? Well, today I'm here to show you a little bit that was going on behind the screen! (And, oh boy, I am just so excited to share this stuff!)

For those of you who don't know, Elizabeth and I are the youth leaders at my church. Here's the project we just finished:

Elizabeth directed and recorded the images/video footage for the video and I did the editing and piecing together of the final product!

And the Muncie COGOP Youth had an awesome time starring in it!!

Also, I think my photography might have gotten a bit better!! (Thanks, once again to Elizabeth, who let me borrow her camera!!)

♥ ♥ ♥

I hope you're all having a terrific Thursday,

2010-09-21T09:11:00.005-04:00

"Full Circle"

Toes curl around;

Line up behind heels,

Looking up at the rainbow

That brought back my smile.

♥ ♥ ♥,

Greetings from Lady on this fine Caturday! ;)

2010-09-18T21:55:00.001-04:00

Join in the fun at Whinyl loves Winkxie!

♥ ♥ ♥

Random Ramble #6

2010-09-18T17:07:00.002-04:00

I miss the an9e1a project.
So instead of taking a break, I'm just "slowing down" a little.
I really love Transforming Tuesday however I think I bit off more than I can chew, so from now on it will be once a month, on the last Tuesday of each month.
As I'm now officially back from my four day break, I'll probably be posting a lot of photos.
However they probably won't be very good.
So yeah, I've noticed that all my photos suck. And I feel like giving up, however with the level of disgust I've been feeling, I know I'd never be able to take pictures again. I have no choice but to get better at it.
I'm a little freaked out by the possibility that I might not get any better at it.
I went to a birthday party today.
I really want my blog header to have more to do with brains and microscopes and the likes, but I'm afraid it will scare people off,
but...
it just doesn't feel right when I try to be normal (so maybe I will do a brain theme).
Did I just make a double butted statement of sorts?
I just realized that I've used the word "but" way too many times in this post, so I'm gonna go back over it and replace some of them with the word "however."
I will get better at it.
I'll be back later with a {mildly suckish} Caturday shot,

transforming tuesday

2010-09-14T01:00:00.001-04:00

Transformation doesn't always come easy. It would probably be accurate to say it almost never comes that way. Transformation takes persistence and dedication, loyalty to its process. Layers of old peel away to reveal intentions and truths, desires and shortcomings, oftentimes ones we'd rather not face.
Right now feels like I'm in the middle of a peeling layer. I'm thinking about things like priorities and decisions, my use of time, hopes and dreams, and even sacrifice... Of all the things I'm turning over in my mind, the one thing I'm sure of is this: I'm not spending enough time away from this laptop of mine. You see, my life exists outside of this screen and I want to live it.
With that in mind, for this Transforming Tuesday, I'm announcing my official break from the blogging world. I'll be occasionally visiting the blogs of friends that I've made over the last few months, but I won't be posting, at least not for a while. I've got some transforming to do!
Love you all,

Shadow Shot, Scavenger Hunt Sunday!

2010-09-12T23:01:00.008-04:00

Shadow Shot Sunday #121

Wanna join in? Just click here. (↓)

And here's my take on this week's Scavenger Hunt Sunday items!
1. Landscape:

Hmmm, I'm not quite sure if this qualifies as a "landscape," but this is the view as seen through my window on the way to Gramma's house today!
2. Power line

I took lots of interesting shots, some of which were higher quality, but I just kept coming back to this one. And Aaron voted for it, so that was that.
3. Newspaper

I tried lots of things for this one... A newspaper airplane, a paper hat, a wadded up ball of it, newspaper hanging out of the trash can. This is what I ended up with.
4. Pose

Lady's such a classy broad. She's always up for a pose or two!
5. Hobby

One of Jaylee's hobbies is creating with sidewalk chalk. Today she told me that this was "Jaylee and Mommy and Daddy." :)
Wanna be part of the scavenger hunt? (↓)
And just one more something before I go,

This is about the best that my camera can do with its little macro button, but yay, I've been practicing!! ♥ ♥ ♥

Yay, it's Caturday again!

2010-09-11T20:07:00.001-04:00

Wanna celebrate Caturday with me? Join in the fun at Whinyl loves Winkxie!!!

Have a great one,

2010-09-10T23:59:00.003-04:00

“What Went Wrong?”

Oh, hurry this,

And hurry that—

I’d better hurry!

No time to chat!

Oh, hurry up!

Oh, hurry me—

Can’t stay too long!

My time ain’t free!

Oh, hurry, hurry!

No rest this hour—

To hurry, hurry,

I’ll skip the shower!

Oh, hurry, oh,

Oh, hurry, my—

I’ll rush right through

To find some time!

I’ll hurry up!

Oh, how I’ll hurry—

So fast am I

That things are blurry!

I hurry, hurry,

All day long—

And still I wonder…

What went wrong?

~Poetry by Angela, © 2008

While taking out the trash today, I looked down in the bag and found some of our dirty laundry. Me thinks I'd better slow down just a bit. ;)

In light of my recent epiphany, I'm just gonna share a few photos I took for Simplicity's {SLR} Photography Class this week, and then I'm going to bed.

Week 1, Day 1:

Week 1, Day 2:

Week 1, Day 3:

Week 1, Day 4:

Week 1, Day 5:

Goodnight loves,

My Transforming Tuesday entry

2010-09-07T23:08:00.008-04:00

My Tuesday was full of miracles!

~While washing dishes today, Jaylee came up behind me and said, "You're my heart, Mommy, and Nanny's my heart." =)

~I took lots and lots of pictures, and found out that even power lines can be beautiful! :)

~I got to play Aggravation with my Mammaw!! :))

~I got to watch Daniel and Jaylee play together! :o)

~I got to spend time in the evening breeze just staring up at a beautiful sky. :]

~And I had a song in my heart all day long. And I got my laundry caught up, held a sweet little kitten, ate peanut butter no-bake cookies, had lovin' from my Jaylee, checked out a grasshopper up close, and...

~I got to share it all with YOU!!!! :D

Happy Tuesday!!

Love, love, love~

Transforming Tuesday #3

2010-09-07T06:00:00.005-04:00

This week, I thought I'd try two new things with Transforming Tuesday:

I'm gonna do my very first "scheduled" entry. (It will post before I even get out of bed!)
I'll be adding my Transforming Tuesday thoughts a bit later in the day. (After I've had the chance to concentrate on the extraordinary in my Tuesday.)

Ok, so let's get to it!! Here's the button. Be sure to grab it and link up so I can check out your photo or video or poetry or thoughts or... Whatever you choose to document your extraordinary Tuesday with!! :)

Will you join me in transforming Tuesday into something extraordinary?

Looking forward to sharing with you~
Much love,

My first Scavenger Hunt Sunday!

2010-09-05T15:53:00.009-04:00

I really enjoyed this because it was lots of fun and also challenging for me. I can't wait to get started on the hunt items for next week! :)

Here's my take on this week's items:

1. Red

2. Homespace

3. Fence

4. Rock

5. Sharp

Thanks, Ashley, for hosting! I'm in ♥ with:

Also, here's this week's Shadow Shot:

You can join in the fun too!

♥ ♥ ♥

random ramble 5

2010-09-04T22:12:00.006-04:00

My thoughts are sometimes like rocks, crashing around, making too much noise for dinner conversation and the likes, but right now my mind feels squishy,
And pink and sort of fleshy.
Whilst in the shower tonight, I dreamed about my future success and how it would impact all the people I love.
Aaron is collaborating with me on this post and now I'm supposed to say: My thoughts are sometimes like rocks, sunk to the bottom, worn down by the temperament of the company I keep.
He's got a lot of good ones that all start with, "My thoughts are sometimes like rocks."
Ones about lava and 10 ton boulders and such.
Here's an awesome quote by Dr. Seuss: “I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”
I'm addicted to changing my blog around.
My thoughts are sometimes like rocks. And I try not to throw them around too recklessly.
Do you see what I see?
I missed this week's Paper Mama Photo Challenge, but I'm gonna post it anyway because I worked kinda hard on it and it makes me sad that I let the deadline pass.
I finally made a signature/watermark for my photos.
My thoughts are sometimes like rocks, able to build, able to bruise.
My thoughts are sometimes like rocks.
My thoughts are like rocks sometimes.

Paper Mama Photo Challenge: Self

I'll make the next deadline!

Love, love, love~

wordless wednesday (on thursday, oops)

2010-09-02T16:58:00.004-04:00

And, psst... I know I'm supposed to be wordless and all, so I'll try to use my best whisperiest voice, but I just had to tell you that I'm super excited because I finally got signed up for the:

Yaaayyyy!!!!!!

Transforming Tuesday #2

2010-08-31T13:38:00.014-04:00

"GO bury thy sorrow,The world hath its share:Go, bury it deeply,Go, hide it with careGo, bury thy sorrow,Let others be blest;Go, give them the sunshine,And tell God the rest.
-ANONYMOUS

Today I'm thankful for second chances. For God's enabling grace. For hope and love and peace. For my family. For each and every new sunrise...
Just seven and a half months ago, my life was very different. I was a smoker and 55 lbs heavier. I coughed almost constantly. I couldn't breathe when I lay in bed each night and would wake up just sitting on the side of the bed (sort of wobbling back and forth) or after having fallen to the floor. I would often fall asleep just sitting in a chair, even while taking care of Jaylee, because I was constantly exhausted. There were times when I coughed or choked until I almost passed out. During the worst episodes, it felt like what I would imagine a seizure to be like. Everything would go dark and sounds would fade and I could feel myself shaking. I was depressed and desperate.
On January 12, 2010, I quit smoking. Shortly after, I started my weight loss journey. I have a long way to go, but I truly thank God for how far I've come in this short amount of time.

I have not smoked for 231 days, 10 hours, 54 minutes, and 31 seconds & have saved $828.59 by NOT smoking 4629 cigarettes. I have lost 55 lbs. I have hope again.

Life is full of hardship; days when it feels like there isn't a trace of extraordinary in sight. Maybe that's when we need to reflect on all our miracles leading up to the moment we find ourself in. Maybe that's one of the secrets of making it through.

Will you join me in transforming Tuesday into something extraordinary? If so, please grab a button and link up so I can celebrate it with you!

Happy Tuesday,

My Shadow

2010-08-29T20:40:00.009-04:00

This picture's pretty simple, but something about it just draws me in. I guess it's a bit weird to be amazed with your own shadow at 33 yrs old, but I am, lol.

Also, it's two things at once. :)

and:

Well, that's all I have for tonight.
Goodnight my pretties,

A Caturday "hello" and an award for the project files!

2010-08-28T22:45:00.008-04:00

Yippee!! Look what I got:

Thank you so much, RMONTALBAN!!!! I'm honored.
You guys should check her out. She's interesting and funny and witty and has mad photography skills. Also, a lot of her posts make me laugh out loud. You'll definitely love your visit to her place. I promise. :)

Ok, so now I'm supposed to pick five special people to share this award with. Here they are, in no particular order:

1. today, in my teenage angst...: Humor, wit, and vlogs. Pure awesomeness. Need I say more?
2. Lila-Land: (Kristin's Mommy-Blog) Because she inspires me. She's an amazing photographer, and she's fun and loyal and just the sweetest thing. I totally love her. :)
3. Whinyl loves Winkxie: Home of Caturday, Charlotte's place is arty and interesting and well, just fabulous. She's such a talented artist and friend.
4. ACoLab: (Artist's Collaboration Laboratory) This is a new find that I wanted to share. Because it's awesome. Each artist that contributes has their own page of entries and everything. The current theme is "Shadow" and there's only one day left to enter so hurry up and head on over! (I'm still working on mine, so I'll meet you there!)
5. Just Me...Photography: She's Angela too!! (Obviously, she's awesome.) Her photography is super wow and she's fun and sweet.

Thanks again, RMONTALBAN, for the awardage. And for the opportunity to pass it on!!

And now, last but not least,
a Caturday shot for your viewing pleasure. ;)

Well, that's all I've got for tonight.

Love, love, love~

Angela

"...creative, or funny, or witty"

2010-08-27T00:29:00.012-04:00

1. This is another random ramble. But with pictures!

2. I've had an extraordinary day. And it isn't even Tuesday.

3. My snack monster has fallen in love.

(with her ↑)

4. Suzy always gives me the sillies and I ♥ her paper rants.

5. I went and got myself a hair style today. On the way back home, Nanny and I listened to Jaylee gurgle her drink for about five minutes solid. Then she ended it with, "Yeah, baby!" It was a happy moment and I just had to share it with you. Also, bath time was really fun because Mommy had to be creative to get Jaylee in the tub.

(She's cooking!)

6. I'm entering THIS giveaway and I was supposed to do something creative or funny or witty for an extra entry. (#3 was an attempt at funny. #4 was an attempt at witty. #5 was an attempt at creative.)

7. So yeah, I did all three. I'm always like that with Suzy. Over the top-weirdo-stalkerish.

8. But it's okay. She knows how awkward I am.

A yellow little nose...

2010-08-25T16:15:00.004-04:00

My photo for this week's Paper Mama Photo Challenge: Flower!

She's wearing it. She's holding it. Need I say more? ;)

ps. I'll be leaving Mr. Linky open for Transforming Tuesday all week, so if you'd like to join in you'll have plenty of time. Also, please bear with me and my bloggy mood swing. I've gone from butterflies to brains, hahaha. Who knows what the place will look like tomorrow! ;)

Transforming Tuesday...

2010-08-24T20:13:00.030-04:00

I've been doing some thinking about how the miraculous often blends in with our everyday, ordinary lives and is oftentimes overlooked. Take today for instance. I cooked, I cleaned, worked on laundry, made sure I had the date right for picture day... Business as usual. But somewhere in the middle of my ordinary day, something clicked and "Transforming Tuesday" was born.

I'd been remembering playtime with Jaylee Sunday night. She was doing some cooking for my hand puppet and he asked her for some rainbows to eat. "Okay," she answered happily and then she went to work, humming and cooking away. Then it occurred to the puppet, aka Mommy, that he wasn't exactly sure what rainbows were made of. "How do you make rainbows?" he asked a very busy Jaylee. Her answer was a rainbow right there in the middle of the living room that night.

"Hmmm... With potatoes. And Nanny."

Pure awesome, right? It was definitely an extraordinary moment for me and it definitely added to my newest project. That, and also how something that you've read a hundred times before can suddenly reveal exactly what you need to see at exactly the right moment. Here's part of my reading from this afternoon:

'We played wedding songs,

and you didn't dance,

so we played funeral songs,

and you didn't weep.'

Passage taken from Luke 7:31-35 (NLT Second Edition)

What I realized today is that the people just didn't get it. No matter how it was presented to them, they just didn't get it. And I'm like that. Hurrying around, getting things done, and all the while God's saying the same thing over and over again in a hundred different ways, waiting for me to get it, you know?

What does that have to do with "Transforming Tuesday"? I think the whole point is this: To make each day extraordinary, I need to take the time to really hear and see, concentrating on the miracles that so often surface within the "ordinary."

Will you join me in transforming Tuesday into something extraordinary?

Here's a button I made for this project. Be sure to grab it and link up so I can check out your photo or video or poetry or thoughts or...whatever you choose to document your extraordinary Tuesday with!! :)

You guys are all awesome,

Just one more thing for today and I promise I'll stop... :)

2010-08-21T19:41:00.000-04:00

I just couldn't forget to tell you, "Happy Caturday!"

Goodnight loves,

Buttons ♥

2010-08-21T15:27:00.001-04:00

I made this button:

for THIS giveaway. :)

And, I threw these together for the an9e1a project! Yay!!

More to come,

Angela.

As seen on t.v. (a picto-pile entry for Saturday)

2010-08-21T13:01:00.000-04:00

A Friday Fill-in! Yay!!

2010-08-20T14:08:00.040-04:00

1. Laughter makes me feel like my brain is taking a vacation.

2. "Will watch this" are the three words that started off the last email I sent.

3. What I'm most looking forward to today is nap time.

4. Listening to Jaylee play puts a smile on my face.

5. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

6. A brand new treadmill is just what I needed!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to practice, tomorrow my plans include a lot of things like sipping iced tea and reclining for long periods of time and Sunday, I want to go to Erin's birthday party!

♥ I hope you're having a happy Friday!! ♥

Orange you glad it's Tuesday? ;)

2010-08-17T17:58:00.007-04:00

Hours after throwing my little bloggy fit, as I lay down in bed last night, relief finally set in. Thus, today my spirits are lifted and I am hereby ready to move on from my temper tantrum. My apologies and all that. Sometimes you just gotta scream (or type in bold, capital letters).

Moving on... Jaylee and I had lots of fun with a great big, orange balloon today! She did everything from sit on it to peek around it while Mommy took bunches of pictures! Here's one of my favorites:

It's part of this week's Paper Mama Photo Challenge, "Orange."

Before I go, here's my Caturday shot of Miss Lady. :)

♥ ♥ ♥

Beautiful...

2010-08-16T23:56:00.011-04:00

I've completely stopped working on the Journaling For A Cause thing. My reason for coming to a sudden halt? The prompt for Day 17: Focus on something beautiful. Now, normally I don't have a problem with beautiful. Life is full of wondrous moments that seem to fling beauty all over the place. My children are beautiful. Color and poetry and love and butterflies are all beautiful. I could go on and on. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Really, I do like beautiful. So what's the deal, right?

I'm completely uninspired right now. The most beautiful thing I can possibly conjure up is the image that's currently bursting at the seams of my brain: Me in some kind of bent at the waist position (as to help push the words out faster and harder), screaming at the top of my lungs, all the things that I've been trying to bottle up. I think the only reason "beautiful" seems to fit at all is because of the relief that seems inevitable after release.

So then, what am I waiting for, right? Why not let it all out; scream, shout, and all that. Who's paying attention anyway? Right. Then let's do a list, shall we? Yes, let's.

Dear World and Everybody In It,

I AM NOT PERFECT. IAMNOTPERFECT.IAMNOTPERFECT.IAMNOTPERFECT.IAMNOTPERFECT.
STOP PUSHING ME AROUND. I'm tired of going as fast as I can, as hard as I can, as perfect as I can, as beautiful as I can, as happy as I can, for as long as I can.
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF TRYING SO HARD. I'm sick of not mattering. I'm sick of words like "lovely." Of pretending like everything's fine. Of my broken brain and counting calories and feeling like I'm never good enough.

...

Where's my beautiful, beautiful releaseful feeling???

Well, maybe if I could scream it... But alas, there's still no room to scream.

How's that for lovely?

Today..

2010-08-16T17:10:00.005-04:00

Hope is just a carrot on a string.

random ramble 4.0

2010-08-12T22:12:00.002-04:00

If you've ever had any trouble with things like reality and whether it's really real, then a good movie to watch might not be Inception.
It beat up my brain.
I've got the suds.
Yeah, that was a SpongeBob term. Because he's awesome. And also, "the suds" sounds so much better than a cold.
Today I learned that Jelly-Lelly-Lelly-Jelly song. It was a strange and happy moment for me.
Sometimes my life feels like some kind of strange experiment. Thus the title of my blog if you can actually call it a blog, and that reminds me, this isn't really a blog but more of a project which also contributes to the title of my bl...
Anyway, every single time I think about my life being the aforementioned experiment/project, I imagine some sort of conversation being held between some sort of someones about just how dramatic and confusing and suckish things have to get before I sort of finally figure out what I never figured out before.
The world is coming apart at the seams.
Yeah, I know. I shouldn't watch t.v.
Or listen to country music.

VBSJournalingPaperMamaPhotoChallengeCaturdayShadowShotSundayonMondayetc.

2010-08-09T00:09:00.001-04:00

This week has been super busy, so now that I finally have a teeny, tiny spare minute, I'm here to do a Super Sunday Recap! :)

First, here's a picture of Daniel and Jaylee during VBS this week!

And second, here's all my journal entries:

Next is this week's Paper Mama Photo Challenge: Water...

Come join in the fun:

And of course I can't forget Caturday!

Finally, this week's Shadow Shot:

Check out all the other fabulous shots or join in the fun!

Oh my goodness, it's already Monday,

Late night weirdo poetical me...

2010-08-06T02:13:00.000-04:00

The Dissection of Red (I)

Dot to dot to dot to dot…

Where are the numbers?

[The possibilities have become endless.]

Paths have appeared

that were never supposed to be.

Now, after the carving of my brain,

The world is like water streaming

into valleys and waterways,

and, whether I like it or not,

the dots connect.

Pappaw & Wubbas

2010-08-01T21:55:00.017-04:00

This week's Paper Mama Photo Challenge is "Buddies." I chose to share a picture of Pappaw and me feeding the ducks. ♥

Check out all the fabulous entries or join in the fun:

This week's shadow shot is one of my lovey, Tater, aka "Wubbas." :)

Share your shadow shot:

love, love, love..

The Cherry on Top Award! Yay!!

2010-07-31T22:42:00.002-04:00

Thanks so very much, Kristin! I want to give it right back to you but since I can't I'm just gonna send you giant, digital hugs!!! :) You are an amazingly talented photographer and friend! I'm so glad I've had the opportunity to get to know you!!

The rules of this decadent award are to:

Thank the person who gave the award to you, copy the award and put it on your blog, list three things about you, and post a photo that you love.

My three things:

I ♥ butterflies and sock monkeys and dandelions.
I'm Team Edward. ;)
I'm the leader of Crater Crafts in this years revamped VBS, Lava Lava Island.

A photo that I love:

*The birth of Jaylee, January 23, 2008*

Finally, after completing all the above steps, I get to pass it on to five more people! Yay!! Here they are, in no particular order!

Whinyl loves Winkxie, it walked on my pillow dot blogspot dot com, Maganda Confessions, Run With Scissors, and Cherry Runway. :))

♥ ♥ ♥

JFAC Prompts 5 & 6 and also a Caturday shot!

2010-07-31T21:41:00.017-04:00

Here's the last two JFAC Journal Prompts.

JFAC Day Five Instructions: "Todays prompt is "It's all in the details..." I think adding the details to something really make it special and from the heart!! You can choose to interpret that in any way :) I chose to focus on all of the little details that make my home really special. It may be little details that you add to your art to make it yours. It could be little details like freckles or dimples that make you so special. Just think about it!!"

JFAC Day Six Instructions: "Open your journal to a blank page, a blank canvas per say :) Do whatever you choose!!! Draw, paint, collage, doodle, sticker, whatever!!"

Ok, so I can't spell caterpillar, but hey,

way to fulfill one of my journaling goals, right?

(#6, Allow mistakes: Done.)

And here's my Caturday shot!!!!

Kaiba's such a weirdo!

JFAC, Day Four

2010-07-29T20:20:00.001-04:00

"Journal Prompt: What does happiness mean to you?? You can write about it, doodle it, take a picture of it, paint it, or anything. Whatever makes you "happy":)"

♥ ♥ ♥

JFAC, Day Three

2010-07-29T01:01:00.002-04:00

"Journal Prompt: Today is all about altering a repeat image :) Copy an image, or images, multiple times using a copy machine, or scanner and print the images in black and white. Use different writing tools to alter your images in many different styles. (If you don't have access to a copier of any kind, alter images from a magazine or old pictures, do it your way and it will be awesome)."

Guess that's all for tonight,
me ♥

JFAC, Day Two

2010-07-27T17:05:00.003-04:00

"Journal Prompt 2: I am a huge fan of writing out my goals, short term and long term. I thought it would be appropriate to have some journaling goals for ourselves too!! What are your goals for your journaling?"

Across

Let out all of the stuff I bottle up.
Create!
Grow.
Let go of the past.
Make new friends.
~~Do something~~ Allow mistakes.

Down

Be myself.
Have fun.
Allow myself the time to do this every day.
Understand that on these pages there are no rules, or obligations, or people to impress/please. This is my safe place.

Paper Mama Photo Challenge: Absolute favorite.

2010-07-27T13:05:00.006-04:00

It was hard for me to pick out an absolute favorite because I have so many favorite photos. I ended up choosing this one because I think it sorta has a magical feel to it. This was Jaylee's first trip to the park and the first time she ever got to check out the grass. :)

Stop by and check out the other entries or join in the fun:

30 days of JFAC, Prompt 1

2010-07-27T02:34:00.024-04:00

My Journaling For A Cause class has officially begun!

The cover:

"Journal Prompt One: Since today is the first day of the class, I wanted to start our journals with a "Welcome" page. I want you to include a little blurb with five adjectives explaining your life right now as well. So, it will go something like this:

Welcome to my ____,____,_____,_____, ____ life.

This will be a nice little intro for our journal :)"

Other things worthy of a mention:

I haven't smoked for 195 days, 23 hours, and 25 minutes & have saved $701.50 by not smoking 3,919 cigarettes.
I've lost 48 lbs.
I have a really bad sunburn and I think maybe it's making my brain sick.
I went through some of my poetry from 1995 today and, I'm not gonna lie, I got completely freaked out. It was like that girl had been to the future and even though she didn't remember going she could write about it really well. *sigh* Did I mention my brain hurts from my sunburn?
If I ever have a time machine of my very own, I'm gonna go tell her to pray and also to write about happy things.

Here's a (very non-futuristic) example of the dark, 1995 poetical me, exactly as it was written:

"Ungodly Torture"

Fire against fire,

Words blister my skin.

One of us must lose.

We both cannot win.

We fight into darkness,

Into an evil sun.

Flames of sin burn me.

We cannot become one.

Black smoke hides us.

He speaks his command.

There will be no loser.

Two evils join hands.

Ungodly torture fuses,

Making my stomach turn.

In Hell we are dancing.

In Hell we will burn.

Evil takes over.

Deceit becomes friend.

Lies and distrust,

We'll dance to our end.

My soul hurts for,

My true self again.

Hating my shadow,

I run from my sin.

He has held my heart forever,

And another blood filled day.

But this night stops eternity.

Evil runs astray.

With sin on my hands,

I lay down in the night.

I let the flames of Hell take me.

And lose this glowing fight.

Now do you understand why I was so freaked out? Well, I only have one thing left to say after this weird, sunburned brain day. I am not going to Hell. The End.

Oh my goodness, I just completely LOVE this.

2010-07-24T18:36:00.013-04:00

Today is my very first Caturday!! And I'm so excited!! For every Saturday, from now on til forever, I'm gonna be sharing an official Caturday shot! You can find out more about it, check out other Caturday shots and even join in the fun by clicking right HERE!

Thanks for letting me join in, Charlotte! :)

Happy Caturday from Sir Kaiba!!!

Oh, what a happy Thursday!

2010-07-22T16:14:00.006-04:00

Look what I did!!!

Yes, I know. This is just a picture of a sink. But wait! Look at what I did to the water! Well, I didn't do it, but my camera's manual setting caught it! Now, I do realize that for some people out there, this is really no big deal at all, but for the girl who has been feeling a little bit manual settingly challenged, well.. Yippeeeee! ;)

I hope you're having a happy Thursday!

My tears are made of poetry..

2010-07-21T15:35:00.011-04:00

Paint By Numbers

I am the keeper

of ordinary problems,

But this isn’t one of them,

Because,

There are usually

too many pieces.

This one is different,

A painting, I guess;

The numbers are plenty,

But I’ve only three colors

for my picture of holes.

My Manic Monday Random Ramble!

2010-07-19T23:53:00.014-04:00

1. My day has been like this: Pick up a poopy diaper (that the raccoons left behind when tearing into the trash), then bend over to pick up the dirty wet wipe that fell out of it, then bend over to pick up the dirty wet wipe that was hiding underneath the first wet wipe, and finally bend over yet again to pick up the third dirty wet wipe that was underneath all of that.
2. I'm not kidding.
3. We go through bunches of wet wipes.
4. My day has also been like this: I forgot to make my deposit this week and messed up my bank account. In the process, I also messed up my Mom's account because I'd written her a check.
5. *sigh*
6. nevermind.
7. It's ok if you don't understand #6. I just had to get that out of my system before I exploded.
8. Ok, so maybe that was me exploding a little.
9. My Manic Monday is probably gonna consist of just one photo that sums everything up because I forgot to take pictures as the day progressed.
10. It's probably better that way.
11. I've been ending all of these Random Rambles after the 11th number, but that isn't very random so I'm not gonna do that this time.
12. I've gotta go cause we're supposed to leave for Gramma's house in 15 minutes and Jaylee and I are still in our jammies! :)
13. I didn't finish this earlier, so as of this post, we're back home and had lots and lots of fun.
14. Here's my very small Manic Monday contribution (since it's almost Tuesday and I only took like three pictures today and they aren't very good cause I'm still learning how to use manual settings on my camera).

♥ ♥ ♥

sometimes people suck, but I'll spare you the details and just get on with the other stuff.

2010-07-18T22:31:00.005-04:00

Shadow Shot Sunday #113

Share your Shadow Shots at:

Paper Mama Photo Challenge: Action!!!

Join in the photo challenge fun at:

Guess that's it for tonight,

Prompt 1 of the 30dot, the elephant in the room.

2010-07-16T12:30:00.014-04:00

I'm participating in this, but I won't be posting every entry. Prompt one is, "Something you hate about yourself." I hate my tendency to blow-up under pressure, aka:

“Shrapnel”

She exploded, and

All that was left in the room

Was the elephant.

One ends and another begins...

2010-07-15T12:35:00.006-04:00

Sadly, the 30 Day Journal Challenge has come to a close. Here's a few of my favorite pages:

www.flickr.com

And here's the full thirty:

Even though I'm a little sad that it's over, look what I have to look forward to:

Yay!Won't you join me on my next adventure? :)

"Make me laugh"

2010-07-15T01:46:00.013-04:00

This photo is part of the...

More tomorrow, :)

My Manic Monday

2010-07-13T00:46:00.001-04:00

A few pictures from my...

So tired,

Shadow Shot Sunday #112

2010-07-11T15:44:00.018-04:00

This shot is the walkway leading to my Mammaw's back door and I travel it often. Concentrating on it like this sends a flood of memories that I normally wouldn't experience in my day to day routine. I see the porch my Pappaw built, the wagon wheels that Mammaw was so excited to get, the long awaited rock garden finally in place, the wheelchair ramp that Uncle Harvey and I built together... I see the faces of loved ones, hear their laughter and travel back in time for a moment. And even if it lasts for only a moment, I'm so thankful for it and the fullness of my heart right now.

Thanks Hey Harriet for hosting Shadow Shot Sunday.

Come check out the other shadow shots or join in the fun!

Before I go, I wanted to share Daniel's shadow shots for this week. He worked really hard on them and I'm so proud!!! :D

Aren't they beautiful?

♥ ♥ ♥

Random ramble #3

2010-07-11T01:37:00.000-04:00

1. I hated my earlier post, so I deleted it.
2. I'm feeling way tired and also a little down right now, aka, "I'm not so sure this post is gonna be any better than the one I deleted."
3. I'm really mood swingy with my blog lately. Is anyone else having this problem? I mean, sometimes I'm in a sort of cartoony mood. Other times, yellow and green squiggly stripes bother me. Still, other times... Well, I'm just never exactly the same for very long.
4. Note to self: do not try to change background and template at 11:00 p.m. on a Friday night because you're having a bloggy mood swing...unless you'd like to stay up until 4:00 a.m. fixing it.
5. And also: If they warn you to make a backup copy, there's probably a good reason behind it.
6. I'm gonna start writing poetry again. I can feel it. It's like it builds and builds until it overflows for a while and then I'm good until the next time.
7. This week is gonna be busy, but lots o' fun. I get to see Eclipse (for the second time!, lol) and have a pizza party and spend time with some of my favorite people! We have plans for Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Yay!
8. I love Aaron first and then Edward Cullen second. ;)
9. I'm sorta bummed that the 30 Day Journal Challenge is coming to an end, but I'm proud of myself for sticking with it. I know it might sound strange, but I didn't realize it would have such an impact on me.
10. I'm thinking about trying a journaling project that would have people exchanging journals and completing monthly prompts. Maybe I'll start one when I get a few more readers. It could last for a year, and have 11 others involved in each person's journal. But I wouldn't want it to be real fancy or anything.
11. Fancy bugs me.

That's all she wrote,

Our favorite toy, Gunkey

2010-07-09T15:39:00.005-04:00

Okay, so he's more my favorite than hers (she's a blankie gal). I've had Gunkey since I was one year old and I just love seeing her lovin' on him! I chose this picture for this week's Paper Mama Photo Challenge: Favorite Toy!

You can join in the fun at The Paper Mama!

time...a picto-pile entry

2010-07-07T12:42:00.009-04:00

"Oh! Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch."

-Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

My first Shadow Shot Sunday

2010-07-04T20:37:00.011-04:00

I'm really beginning to enjoy participating in these photo challenges and such. This one is my favorite so far not only because it opened my eyes to a whole new sort of beauty, but also because I had my family helping me with it! After much deliberation, here's the picture I chose for Shadow Shot Sunday #111.

You can join in the fun at Hey Harriet!

Of course, I just gotta share some of the other stuff we came up with! =)

It was so much fun! If you try it, you'll love it. I promise.

Well, I'd better be off. I've got a family to enjoy and a firework adventure to embark on. ;)

Happy 4th of July!!!

~♥.♥.♥~

Another random ramble

2010-07-02T14:10:00.017-04:00

1. I've been thinking and rethinking a few things.
2. The other day, I made a post about some of my rethinking thoughts but hated it, abandoned it, and then deleted it altogether. So this is actually a repost of sorts or maybe a rethought.
3. I'm annoyed because we live in a world where everyone wants someone to listen and nobody wants to hear.
4. I'm also annoyed because it's very difficult to be unique. Even the desire to be unique is very non-unique. A paper rant on this subject can be found here.
5. I don't want to like vintage things.
6. Over the past month or so, I've been thinking about how fragmented a person can become. It's like pieces of the self can get frozen at certain places in life. I'm naming the process the Humpty Dumpty Syndrome.
7. What I want to know is, how does one go about putting the pieces back together again? I know it has to be God. He specializes in that sort of stuff. But how does it happen? If there's a chunk of me back in 2006, how does it get reconciled to the me of today?
8. Normal people probably don't have problems like that.
9. But then, no one's trying to be normal. Everybody wants to be unique.
10. Instances of contradiction are to be expected. Number 11 won't make much sense without connection to number four. My apologies; this is my brain and how it's been working as of late.
11. Please don't jump off a cliff.

My brand new remember list

2010-06-28T13:17:00.025-04:00

*Inspired by Prompt 15 of the 30 Day Journal Challenge,

all about goals for the month of July. :o}

"stuff I want to do in July"

Make 2 new friends
Laugh more
Get my hair cut
Devote more time to God
Lose 5 pounds
Spend more time with Aaron ♥
Sing and Play and Read Every Single Day
enjoy the mess (instead of cleaning it up)
have a slow dance

I hope you're enjoying the final days of June, 2010!

What are your goals for the month of July?

it's time for an oh.so.random..fridaypile that will probably end up posting on Saturday because I'm having problems getting Jaylee to sleep and my brain is functioning in bad form,

2010-06-26T00:04:00.021-04:00

and I'm fighting a blogging no-no. (I want to spend the next few minutes boohooing and complaining, but I'll spare you. I'm feeling, what's the word... Oh never mind. I'm starting to do what I'm not gonna do.)

Well, let's keep it moving, hey?

A couple of weeks ago,

I kept hearing the oddest sound.

It lasted for a couple of weeks.

It was right outside my window.

I didn't think it was a bird, but was it?

No. It was not.

♥

these guys..

and now,

a quote of the friday:

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough

scientific research to finding a cure for

jerks."
— Bill Watterson

This photo is part of the Skinned Knees Photo Challenge:

The theme for this week is "Friends."

A happy moment by Jaylee.. :)

And let us not forget Aaron the Great.

[finally, after careful nurture of the bubble wand..]

We have a bubble!

That's all I'm good for tonight.

introducing the random ramble

2010-06-22T01:54:00.013-04:00

As promised, here I am to ramble on about random things, aka, type your ear off. We shall call this little number the random ramble and I'll only do it on random days.

1. I'm feeling pretty happy right now. I will ramble on about why for the next few digits.

2. I have not smoked for 160 days, 22 hours, 21 minutes and have
saved $576.02 by NOT smoking 3,218 sickarettes.

3. I have lost 42 pounds so far.

4. Aaron, Spencer, Daniel, Jaylee and I went to see Toy Story 3 tonight and, oh wow, it is such a good movie! (I laughed, I panicked, and I even cried a little.) It was a really fun family outing. :))

5. I'm lovin being the Youth Leader at church. When I first started, I was worried about things like whether the kids would be able to relate to me, whether they'd even like me, and if I'd be able to actually "lead." It's been awesome so far. I'm having a blast, our group is slowly growing, I love them all, and every day it seems like the role fits me a little bit better. I'm praying our rummage sale will be a success. (They're all in charge!)

6. I've really been enjoying the 30 Day Journal Challenge. It's really helping me reflect on my life and my loved ones, my priorities and goals, and the creative outlet it's provided is just so very therapeutic in itself. I guess I can't say enough about my newest love. :)

7. Aside from happy, I'm feeling an odd mixture of things lately. I will ramble on about that for the next few digits.
8. I sometimes feel like a trapeze artist walking the tight rope, juggling like 12 things (calculator, toothbrush, Bible, vacuum cleaner, scales, sharpie, pillow, laptop, makeup, pacifier, recliner, and a big ball of laundry).
9. I'm feeling like I have a spider jumping around on me RIGHT NOW and it's driving me bananas.
10. The other stuff isn't stuff I'm in the mood to spill right now, and I don't want to leave you with a sobbing-over-your-cheerios feeling.
11. So then I'm all outta stuff and although this feels like an abrupt end, I'm calling it. Goodnight loves..

*Jaylee, at her very first movie*

i don't know what you call it...a picto-pile-30djc entry

2010-06-20T19:39:00.002-04:00

So.. I've been a girl of few words lately. But hey, I promise to type your ear off at a later date. With that being said, here's a pico-pile entry and a 30djc page all in one shot.

Until the morrow,

To my very sweet anonymous commenter ;)

2010-06-17T21:04:00.007-04:00

That's all I wanted to say tonight.

fighting the blah stuff & finding the Happy

2010-06-15T00:40:00.005-04:00

this is my first page for the 30 Day Journal Challenge. :)

and now, since i promised extraordinary for today, and since i'm sitting here battling frustration and all the blah stuff, maybe it'd be good if i try to post some Happy....

well, there's bubbles.

and rainbows..

and balloons..!

and kittens.!

and butterflies!

and dandelions!!

and a sock monkey too!!!

(all images found via 'we heart it' except my photo of the dandelions)

well, now, that's 7 Happy things. and all together, they are indeed, extraordinary.

i hope you have an extraordinary, fabulous tuesday!

2010-06-14T02:04:00.003-04:00

I'm up way late again tonight. I've been getting everything ready for 30 Day Journal Challenge! Yay, I finally made it to Monday! What an extraordinary pile tomorrow's shall be! :)

I'm gonna get some sleep now, and maybe dream in glitter and buttons and markers and such, but I had to give you a sneak peek!!!

(: Goodnight..

shopping and blogging and yawning, oh my

2010-06-13T02:00:00.010-04:00

So, I did some remodeling around here.. Just the colors, the background, the header, and the name, lol. Anyhow, whaddaya think? I'm thinkin it's a good change. There's a bit more happy on the page. (And I like happy!) :)

On to other things.. I got to go shopping t-w-o! days in a row. That's major for me, cause although I really, really love to shop, I don't get to go a whole lot. It's mainly because money doesn't like me, but that's stuff for another day. Back to the shopping. Yesterday I bought stickers! and found an amazing $6! outfit for Jaylee and got my journal for the 30 Day Journal Challenge! And today's trip was even better. I got a super cute bag, 2 bottles of sparlee (aka "sparkly" which is also not a word really) nail polish, craft scissors with purple sparkly handles, Crayola paint (that Jaylee and I can share), and craft glue!!! I am so excited about all this shopping and getting ready to begin the 30djc!

Well, I could go on (and on and on) but it's late and I'm feeling so very sleep deprived.. I'd better close my eyes and dream of having a few followers, LOL.

Goodnight my pretties,

oh.so.emo.toes..

2010-06-11T02:13:00.007-04:00

Yay! Time for an oh.so.random.fridaypile..! Ok, so it's early, but it is Friday, right?

I now have oh.so.emo.toes.. Lol. Check 'em out!

And I had my nails done as well!

Didn't Jaylee do a beautiful job? :)

And omg, I'm so excited about this:

AND NOW A QUOTE OF THE FRIDAY:

If you think you are too small to be effective,

you have never been in bed with a mosquito.

-Betty Reese

Jaylee and I were talking about poop today.

She said she poops rainbows! Heehee. I love that.

She's so sweet, she poopies rainbows!!!

And now a word from our Aaron (the Great)...

ok...not so much a word, but at least he won..
.

Sparlee!

sparlee is my new word.

*to be continued*

Things I L♥ve!

2010-06-07T16:41:00.011-04:00

I've been seeing these "things I love" lists everywhere, so I thought I'd share a few things I aBsOlUtElY ADORE!

My Daniel Paul Wright! :)

My Jaylee Darlene Wright! :)

My Spencer Reece Stewart! :)

My Aaron (the Great)! :)

sigh

2010-06-05T11:11:00.002-04:00

So... I'm not doin so hot today. I'm feeling like some 33 year old freak of a person that just won't accept their age. I mean, if I were like 80 it might be considered off the wall and kooky (in an endearing sorta way) for me to act like a teenager. However, in my thirties it looks more like the stuff mid-life crises are made of.

Here's to the next awkward fifty years, until it's ok to act like I've lost my mind a little.

Another 'Oh.so.random.fridaypile..'!

2010-06-04T19:27:00.015-04:00

Smeagol, James, Noah, Myra, and me are attempting to break the record for the longest comment chain on facebook. We have a long way to go, but we are nerds on a mission and will not be deterred.

I have not smoked for 20 weeks, 3 days, 16hours and 42 mins.

I have saved $514.43 by NOT smoking 2,874 sickarettes.

i keep having the same ally mcbeal moment over and over.

it has to do with busting out a couple of already broken windows on my van

...cause my air conditioner doesn't work
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~Albert Einstein

Happy Friday! :)

i hate my van...a picto-pile entry.

2010-06-03T13:30:00.002-04:00

annoying tuesday :/

2010-06-01T22:55:00.009-04:00

I was grouchy with my son...over a cucumber.

And I ate hotdogs...for the second day in a row.

My brand new tea jug leaks...even when I don't use the spigot.

And the word spigot isn't right...cause I've said spicket for 30 years.

And I don't like this pile...or the smells or the sounds or the tv right now.

introducing "picto-piles"

2010-05-31T23:40:00.004-04:00

i'm adding a picture page for when i'm all out of words...i'm down to one today...conflicted...

Oh.so.random.fridaypile..

2010-05-29T00:28:00.027-04:00

~~Visit~~ ~~for yO~~uR ~~chance~~ to ~~win~~ a ~~12x12~~ ~~Vistaprint~~ ~~photo book~~!
~~http://delightfulchaos.com/2010/05/vistaprint-12x12-photo-book-giveaway/~~

Lenticular Clouds are freakout clouds...the scariest ever.

(© Dave Curtis)

SEE?

Here's a deep thought from the dark recesses that IS the mind of Sm3a901it0:
"Cold's o.k. until it's too cold. Hot's o.k. until it's too hot."
the sock roll needs to make a come back.
"IF WE CAN'T LIVE TOGETHER, THEN WE'RE GONNA DIE ALONE."

my husband
is
constipated.

it's saturday now...but i'm not renaming this post.

My Remember List

2010-05-27T10:44:00.009-04:00

I was ~~cleaning~~ trying to find places to stuff things in my little house today and found this in an old notebook. Maybe I'll print this out and put it on the fridge or something, because sadly, I'd forgotten my Remember List.

Without further ado, here it is, exactly as it's written.

*My Remember List*

1. Surrender to God every day. Invite Him to be with me all day. Talk to Him all day.

2. Be kind. (One act of cruelty can ruin my day. One missed kindness and my day is not complete; duties not finished.)

3. Listen.

4. Do not run my mouth.

5. Read the Word so I'm not swinging a dull ax.

6. Try to do away with anger altogether.

7. LOVE PEOPLE, ACCEPT PEOPLE, FORGIVE PEOPLE, HAVE MERCY... AS JESUS DOES.

8. If I can't make myself do everything just perfectly, how can I expect that anyone else would be able to please me just perfectly? Ease up a little.

9. Obey God. Obey God. Obey God.

10. Love Him with everything, all that I am.

introducing the "monday pile"

2010-05-24T14:31:00.038-04:00

random thoughts from the middle of my draggy monday...

i watched the series finale of "lost" last night. i enjoyed it, but i'm not completely satisfied. it seems like too much is still a gigantic ball of mystery...i woke up this morning with the side of my face hurting like someone beat me up while i was sleeping...oh! i've suddenly realized that, in an alternate reality, i was punched in the face...maybe i'll be able to make myself get busy and pick up the house after i post this pile...maybe i'll do the dishes...and the laundry...and vacuum and make beds and do everything that i should have done before i turned on my computer this morning...things that are constantly bouncing around in my brain right now: the word "one," the book of revelations, my purpose, the need for balance, my desire to be a better wife and mom, the battle of my spiritual nature against my physical nature, unexplained things throughout my lifetime and all of history, the perfect way everything seems to interlock with everything else on a huge, cosmic level and at the same time on an extremely personal, individual level.